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Extemp Humor (Page 3)


Page 1, Top 10 lists

Page 2, Stupid Quotations by politicians

Page 4, Dumb Remarks of 2005

CHSSA Parody

"If we do the work that we can do in this country, the work that we will do when John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to walk, get up out of that wheelchair and walk again."

- John Edwards, Vice Presidential Candidate in Newton, Iowa on October 18th, 2004

"Got wood?"

- George W. Bush

"The concerns that Jim Sensenbrenner had about the conference report are concerns that I share right down the line."

- David Dreier, on December 7th, 2004 speaking on the immigration provisions in the original House version of the 9/11 bill before voting to support a revised version that excluded the immigration provisions that Sensenbrenner supported.

"They unfortunately and outrageously were all here on legally issued visas,...James Sensenbrenner was trying to stop illegal immigrants from getting driver's licenses. None of these were illegal immigrants."

-Sen. Joe Lieberman on December 7th, 2004 speaking upon the proposed immigration provisions in the House version of the 9/11 Bill. Ironically the 9/11 report contradicts Lieberman in that several of the hijackers had overstayed their visas and were therefore in the US illegally. See CNN: 9/11 panel describes how attackers got money

"As you know, you go to war with the Army you have. They're not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time."

-Donald Rumsfeld on December 8th speaking in Kuwait to troops about the lack of armor.

"It seems to me if there's going to be a crisis, the crisis should be this year,"

Assemblywoman Jackie Goldberg, D-Los Angeles, July 21, 2004 "What you do is you show people that you can't get to this without a 55 percent vote."

"If you break it, you fix it."

-John Kerry September 30th speaking on the so-called pottery barn rule.